Formed in August 2007 on a semi-drunken bender, Attacked by Gorillas is a website dedicated to everything in the lives of four strapping young individuals with the attention spans of a common housefly. From video games to ramen noodles and everything in between, these four will probably find some way to talk about it. That means that you can expect anything and everything to be covered here at AbG, because you never know what mood they’ll be in or what they want to talk about next. By the way, about the name of the site… it’s an inside joke.
ABOUT AXEL NIGHT
Tech man of the gang, Axel was born in 1981 out of a small, aboriginal village in western New York state. He quickly escaped, and made his journey around the globe, with a long stay in Parts Unknown, Virginia. He is now settled among the redwoods and hippies of California’s northern nether regions, continuing his over-education and maintaining anything that blinks for a small, monarchial, government office.
In his spare time, he has computer, console, and tabletop gaming addictions to feed. He also administers a persistant world game server of whiny roleplayers, of which will remain nameless. He loves to tinker, and has a knack for half-baked ideas and meaningless experiments. Above all, he’s a master of apathy and efficient laziness. If something breaks on here, it’s probably his duty to fix it…eventually.
He has a love for bunnies, duckies, and pink puffy things, in a wantonly violent sort of way. He owes his upbringing to Sam & Max.
ABOUT SASHA KENZAN
The youngest of the four writers, born in 1982, is Sasha Kenzan. To say things that he enjoys would be eclectic would be an understatement; no matter what the format, he is sure to find something he’ll enjoy. Do not send him to YouTube or Wikipedia, because he will be distracted for hours at a time. He is commonly referred to as the leader of the Virginia Mafia, a group of members on the forums that have been here since the site’s launch; he assumed the role when Axel Night departed for California.
Kenzan is a eleven-year veteran of the independent professional wrestling scene, yelling into a microphone for your enjoyment. If you shout things at him at a show, he will point at you and tell you to shut up. He also is commonly surrounded by hard-hitting ladies on roller skates, announcing for the Dominion Derby Girls. For his day job, he prevents the robot apocalypse. He lives in Parts Unknown, Virginia with his pet lobster, Pinchy. You can
stalk contact him directly either through the forums or following him on Twitter.
ABOUT BRICK PRIOR
As a future warning to all those who read this bio, Brick Prior will write about anything he wants at anytime he wants. It’s the best way his brain works.
And now, to begin:
Brick Prior was born in 1980, which makes him "old" even though he gets carded all the time at the liquor store. He grew up amidst every single cultural faux-pas committed in the 1980s and early 90s- yes, he remembers eating Nintendo cereal, Video Power with Johnny Arcade, being very excited for the Battletoads cartoon, and most importantly, when the Transformers toyline had toys that didn’t transform. "’Action Masters’ my ass", he says. He also remembers when Lt. Falcon, the hero of G.I. Joe: The Movie, got hooked on drugs on a "very special episode of G.I. Joe", which proves once and for all that nothing is sacred when it comes to large corporate entities screwing things up.
Prior, educated at a university somewhere in the United States, spends his time obessing over various future literary projects while he does his best to succeed in a workplace of his choosing. He also reads voraciously and watches the Discovery Channel, Adult Swim, and whatever random horror movie he can find on television. He is also an unhealthy fan of Scrubs reruns due to the fact that they sooth his soul. Currently, he lives somewhere on the East Coast, with future plans to move slightly up or slightly down it depending on how the money rolls in.
ABOUT DOCTOR DETROIT
A more appropriate name would be Soon-To-Be Doctor from the Midwest, but details, details. Doc is writing his dissertation while teaching at a mid-sized university in the Midwest. If you want to know the specifics, his degree is in sociology with a focus in criminology and social psychology, but if you want to know anymore, he’s happy to talk about it. Because it’s all he has to talk about. Trust me. And if you think it can’t get anymore grown up than that, Doc is also married, and his wife refers to AbG as "the gorilla page" and, once, "the monkey thing".
Doc is also a Nintendo Power Child and spends what free time he has obsessing over a random collection of old books and movies, and since graduate school killed his bank account and free time, would prefer to be able to explain every minute detail of the stuff he can get his hands on than be someone who is with the times. Beyond that, he is also a huge sports fan, a wannabe historian and writer, and agrees with Stephen Hawking that none of us really exist.
ABOUT KITTIN SCARENTINO