Posted on October 17th, 2009 in Brick Prior, MORROR, Movies by Brick Prior

PREVIOUSLY ON MORROR…

“Human Beasts” was discussed, but screw that, because The Editor has taken over.

Hi.

I am The Editor, meaning that I edit the content from Brick Prior’s brain to what you see on the Attacked By Gorillas website.

Clearly, I have not been doing a good job.

I understand that it has been a banner year for Brick Prior (a possible new living place free from zombies, various shenanigans at Applebee’s), but this will not stand.  Granted, EVERYONE wants to know what’s going to happen- will Brick Prior get a new place?  Will he keep coming up with random horror movies to watch?  Will he finally, finally give a fuck about the world around him?

Even he can’t answer that one, so I am stepping in and making sure that MORROR gets in tip top shape.

Remakes, huh?

Well, here’s an original movie that was remade and just released to the masses.

TODAY’S FILM: THE STEPFATHER (1987, as opposed to 2009)

 

 

What’s not to love about this?  You’ve got Terry O’Quinn with one hell of a performance before he became John Locke, Man of The Lost Island… and that’s about it.  Seriously, O’Quinn rules the screen as a demented man hacking up family after family in order to find the perfect one for him.

The premise of “The Stepfather” is simple:  The titular Stepfather is a man of many wishes- he hopes and prays that he can find his true missus… but what he really feels, his eyes cannot hide.

Because he always… always… starts to cause families to die.

But this time… could… mean… goodbye (for his murdering tendencies, that is).

As the movie opens, Our Killing Man is busy washing the blood off his hands as he’s just dispatched his previous family.  The Stepfather doesn’t tolerate any shit, you see- once his family starts to disappoint him, he offs those assholes.  No one knows how long he’s been doing this, but there’s only one thing clear:  the man WILL kill you if you if need be.  There’s a bit of lackadaisical tone to it all- The Stepfather packs up all his bloody clothes in a suitcase, walks right past bloody handprints and the bodies of his former family, and whistles a jaunty tune as he heads right out the house and down the street- business as usual, obviously.  Fast forward to a year later, as he’s going by the name of “Jerry” and with a new family, complete with a daughter that can’t stay out of trouble at school- she’s got issues with her dad’s death, and the fact that her new stepfather is cramping her style is giving her a bit of the brainshits- so much so that she ups and gets herself expelled from school.

Her answer: send her the fuck away to boarding school.

The Stepfather’s answer:  OH HELL NAWH, GOTTA KILL EVERYONE FOR FUCKING MY FAMILY UP!

And so, the slaughter begins.

Needless to say, The Stepfather is already pretty wacked out when the movie starts, but to see him put on a new persona and watch it completely evaporate is an awesome thing.  The kicker is when he gives up on his current family, establishes a new identity in another town, and then slips up and refers to himself as his new identity in front of his current wife.  What follows is a phone to the face, a stabbing of one of his former victims, and chasing his young, nubile daughter around the house.  Naturally, The Stepfather gets shot and stabbed and thwarted in his quest for killing, but there’s always the sequel, right?

Or… the remake, in this case.

But who cares about that- the question is: where’s Brick Prior?

The Editor says: taking a break.

This is my show now.

END OF DAY ELEVEN!