Posted on October 12th, 2009 in Brick Prior, MORROR, Movies by Brick Prior

PREVIOUSLY ON MORROR…

Brick described the weirdest movie he could think of, which turned out to be “SARS WARS:  Bangkok Zombie Crisis”.  The Merchant (who can possibly get Brick a new place to live) was not pleased…

THE MERCHANT SAYS:  I be thinking ya want to be trying again.

BRICK SAYS:  Yeah man, let me at it.  Check this out- some dude that looks like Snoop Dogg is a drug dealer, gets shot, and comes back as this lanky laughing asshole-

YMIR SAYS:  Is plot to “Bones” movie, which does not have beautiful woman and man that used to play vampire.  I handle this one.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Oh lord.

YMIR SAYS:  Is film about greatest sport in the land- only sport where a man drive across icy lake to get to destination-

BRICK SAYS:  Ymir-

YMIR SAYS:  Is film about wrestlers fighting zombies.  Hear the plot now, yes?

 

 

 

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Ain’t no way we’re gonna get a goddamn place now!

BRICK SAYS:  …after you destroyed the last one.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  THAT. WAS. A. TANK!

BRICK SAYS:  …and who caused the Tank to come get us?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …Jesus!

BRICK SAYS:  …Lord.

ITHIYAK SAYS:  …yes?

BRICK SAYS:  No, not-

YMIR SAYS:  I describe movie for all now.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  What the fuck ever, dude- go ahead.

YMIR SAYS:  Is simple.  Takes place in world where wrestling is the sport of gods.  Exalted by all, wrestlers are the kings of kings.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …everyone runs around with sledgehammers?

YMIR SAYS:  …you make joke?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  That’s not a joke, that’s a fact-

YMIR SAYS:  YOU WILL NOT BLASPHEME THE SACRED SPORT-

BRICK SAYS: Son of a bitch, goddamn, and wait- Ymir, just tell the plot and quit it with… whatever the fuck it is you’re doing to bait people.

YMIR SAYS:  …you closet straight edge person if you contest me now.

ITHIYAK SAYS:  Master, ama’talanuk!  The anger is going to be too much!  YASHAAAAAAAAAAA!

BRICK SAYS:  …I might drink a lot of beer, but because I drink a lot of beer doesn’t mean that I don’t pay my taxes or get my mail and-

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Come on, clubfoot- what do you have for this flick?!

YMIR SAYS:  There are lesbians.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …say word.

YMIR SAYS:  One is tattooed and they kiss.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …WHAAAAAT?!

YMIR SAYS:  …the cute one dies.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …WHAT THE FUCK?!  NOT THE CUTE ONE!

YMIR SAYS:  It is up to sacred wrestlers and Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart as Sherriff of Town to save day.

ITHIYAK SAYS:   He is the one that has goatee and team up with Blackheart: King of Slammys, yes?!

YMIR SAYS:  Yes.  Was interesting times, so long ago.  The life of wrestler is fraught with peril- they are men and women who uphold traditions and secrets not known by other mortals.  In world of zombie film, they wear masks with honor.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …I heard there was some FUCKED UP SHIT going on in wrestling, man.  I’ve heard of some crazy shit- Cleveland Steamers, Donkey Punches, African Squat Fucking, but can you explain just what the hell a ‘Montreal Screwjob’ is?

YMIR SAYS:  ….it still up for debate even more than ten years later.  People not move on.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …they showed it on televison?! That is some freaky shit!

BRICK SAYS:  What about the movie, man?

YMIR SAYS:  It start with zombies attacking people.  Up to Ulysses, Blue Saint, and token lady wrestler named Mercedes to save day.  Along way they team up with Mr. X, fight Zombie King, and throw massive party at end.

BRICK SAYS:  …that’s it?

YMIR SAYS:  That it. Is short film.

BRICK SAYS:  …alright Merchant, what’s the verdict?

THE MERCHANT SAYS:  …you be trying again, yes?

YMIR SAYS:  …secret weapon not work.  I apologize, and will go sit in alleyway corner.

ITHIYAK SAYS:  Master, I think of perfect movie!

BRICK SAYS:  …oh no.

END OF DAY NINE!