Posted on October 9th, 2009 in Brick Prior, MORROR, Movies by Brick Prior

PREVIOUSLY ON MORROR…

Brick Prior’s home has been destroyed.  Now, in the middle of a supposed “zombie apocalypse” and after a viewing of Hell’s Ground, Ymir and Ithiyak have supposedly found a new home for our intrepid hero…

YMIR SAYS:  Is here.  Contact down alley.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Man, I don’t fuckin’ know about this.  Seems like we’re in Yuppietown or something.  I saw six IKEA’s on the way here… and did you guys notice that the radio played nothing but smooth jazz?!  For forty-five minutes, all we heard were recycled R&B beats and saxophones farting… I don’t dig this at all.

BRICK SAYS:  Yeah… this is kinda far off from where we lived.

ITHIYAK SAYS:  Master, we live in safe place now!

BRICK SAYS:  What’s the catch?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Yeah, no shit- what’s the fucking catch?!

YMIR SAYS:  You talk to him.

BRICK SAYS:  Who-

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …this is a fucking bitch and a half.

 

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THE MERCHANT SAYS:  See something ya like?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  NO.  Fuck this, fuck you, and fuck this fucking shit.

BRICK SAYS:  Hey man, wait!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …I ain’t gonna walk away or nothing, I’m just saying that this sucks- you fuck one chick in a pink track jacket one night, and shit goes downhill FOR-EH-VER.

BRICK SAYS:  …that was all you.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  I KNOW BUT I’M JUST SAYING THAT IT WAS A MISTAKE.

BRICK SAYS:  …yeah?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …she laughed.

YMIR SAYS:  That not good.

ITHIYAK SAYS:  BALASHAAAA?!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  I know.  I was all like, “time to dip the ladle” and she went all giggly.

BRICK SAYS:  …you said what?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  I KNOW WHAT I SAID! I’m just saying, man… fuck this.

THE MERCHANT SAYS:  …which one of ya be wanting a place to stay?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  You speak “Castillian Piratese”, right?  Tell this asshole what’s up.

BRICK SAYS:  Only when I make it up- o-oh.  Uh, we be wanting a place to stay, yeah?

THE MERCHANT SAYS:  Ah.  Good.  You can get a place of yer own only if you tell me what the weirdest movie you ever could dream up would be.

BRICK SAYS:  Uh.. well, if there was such a movie, then it’d probably look like…

 

 

 

BRICK SAYS:  …and SARS is breaking out everywhere except for some random country-

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  THAILAND!

BRICK SAYS:  Why Thailand?!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  ‘Cuz you can get a shitload more food in Thailand with money there than you can in the US!

BRICK SAYS:  I don’t… what?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  THE BAHT ASSHOLE, THE BAHT!

BRICK SAYS:  Yeah, whatever- so, uh… Thailand’s all cocky because they don’t have any SARS fucking with them, until some random stuff happens… I dunno- uh, something involving a fly and some shit going down in Africa so the internet can get all a’flutter…

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …bitches.

 

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BRICK SAYS:  So, the shit spreads to Thailand thanks to a random fly, but no one cares about that, because some important dude’s daughter is getting kidnapped.  Her dad’s all pissed, and he’s a mobster or some such so he goes to the one man that can save her…

 

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BRICK SAYS:  …but he’s retired due to injury, so the mobster, uh… tickles the shit out of him until he agrees?

YMIR SAYS:  …that not good persuasion tactic on man.

BRICK SAYS:  SHUT UP!  IT’S THE WEIRDEST MOVIE I CAN THINK OF!  Anyway, he sends his best student instead…

 

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BRICK SAYS:  So he goes to the hideout to get the chick, but there’s this zombie…

 

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BRICK SAYS:  …who starts infecting people and eating cats and there’s a fat dude that kinda saves the day…

 

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BRICK SAYS:  …but he gets shot up in an elevator…

 

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BRICK SAYS:  …uh, and there’s a zombie snake…

 

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BRICK SAYS:  …so everything’s all fucked up.  Needless to say, there are zombies everywhere!

 

 

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RICK PRIOR SAYS:  What the fuck kinda shit is this?!

BRICK SAYS:  But wait, there’s more!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …such as?

BRICK SAYS:  A… um, lightsaber!

 

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BRICK SAYS:  And a… ZOMBIE BABY!

 

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BRICK SAYS:  And, um… at the end, there’s a big ass explosion, and the heroes hit PAUSE TO STOP IT!

 

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BRICK SAYS:  …and there’s a whole bunch of stuff and gags… and an anime sequence that comes out of nowhere!

 

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BRICK SAYS:  …and that’s it.  That’s all I got.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …I swear, you are the weirdest asshole I’ve ever been related to-

ITHIYAK SAYS:  THAT MOVIE BEEN MADE BEFORE!  SARS WARS!  SAW IT IN VOID ONCE AFTER BAD SPELL!

BRICK SAYS:  Goddamnit, Ithiyak!

THE MERCHANT SAYS:  …you be trying again, yes?

BRICK SAYS:  …

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Well dude, are you gonna try again?

BRICK SAYS:  …yarp?

END OF DAY EIGHT!