Posted on October 4th, 2009 in Brick Prior, MORROR, Movies by Brick Prior

PREVIOUSLY ON MORROR…

Brick Prior watched “Live Animals” again while dealing with four unruly zombie killers.  Unfortunately, they shot his TV to death… and now?  He’s suffering the wrath of his evil twin brother…

BRICK SAYS:  I don’t care,  just wanna watch my movies and be happy.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Oh no, bitch- you gotta suffer.  I gave that damned little demon of yours enough cans of tuna fish to last him a whole three days- it’s high time that you watch some real shit.  I bought this TV, so goddamnit- we’re gonna watch movies on it.

BRICK SAYS:  Come on, man- how have I done you wrong?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Remember the chick that came into your job with no panties on and you kept talking about it?

BRICK SAYS:  Yeah!  I mean… “no”… but, yeah!  So what?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …numbers, dude.

BRICK SAYS:  SHE DIDN’T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!  HOW’S SHE GONNA ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN YOU CALL?!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Alcohol is the language of love!

BRICK SAYS:  …and subtle date rape!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Hey, if she gets in the El, then she knows what’s up!

BRICK SAYS:  Oooooooh, so that’s what we call it now?!  The “El”?!  Are you fucking serious?

RICK PRIOR SAYS: If you’re gonna say it, then you better say it like you mean it!

BRICK SAYS: ARE YOU FUCKING SRRRRRRIOUS?!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  NO!  OF COURSE NOT!

BRICK SAYS:  …good.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …I might have winked too much.

BRICK SAYS: OH GODDAMNIT-

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Hey look, a trailer!

 

 

 

BRICK SAYS:  Goddamnit, it’s too early for this shit!

RICK PRIOR SAYS: Hey, SARS WARS is in the pile, bro.  COME ON.  You know you were due for some V-Cinema goodness.

BRICK SAYS:  …no one knows what the hell that is except me.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  V-Cinema is pretty much what the Japanese consider to be “direct to video”… only it’s fucking brutal shit.  No standards.  Guts and entrails and all that without any sort of decency.

BRICK SAYS:  …right.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  So, yeah!  Asshole stumbles out of a lab and right into a bunch of zombie bullshit-

BRICK SAYS:  …you didn’t fuck the chick in the pink track jacke-

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  “ALMOST THERE!  ALMOST THERE! ALLLLLLLMOST THEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!”  Bwahahahaha, what a cooze… caught her right as she was leaving and convinced all the other dudes that there was a tank on the way to save them…

BRICK SAYS:  Oh my god, I am going to kill you.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  WHAT?!

BRICK SAYS:  Dude, are you serious?!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  If you don’t stop talking like Kenny Blank off of that goddamned Robert Townsend show, I will fucking shoot you.  Get back to yourself, man.

BRICK SAYS:  …whatever.  Can’t help it, just continue.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  So yeah- Japan, zombie outbreak- it’s so bad that the shit gets blasted on the internet and some Jason Statham lookalike gets killed in the process.  “Zombie Hunter” he ain’t.

BRICK SAYS:  So some schoolgirls go after… somebody?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  GET IT RIGHT IF YOU SPEAK.  Her name is Rika. Rika, our heroine, is trying to go see her grandfather, but she doesn’t know that there are zombies afoot.

BRICK SAYS:  Dig it.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  You’re pissing me off just because.  Anyway, yeah- the shit goes down- and Rika gets her arm chomped on.

BRICK SAYS:  Gotta kill her.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  This is why you’re a fucking douche.  You forgot what kind of movie we’re watching!

BRICK SAYS:  It’s a zombie movi-

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  IT’S JAPANESE AND THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT WE CARE ABOUT!  WE DROPPED A BOMB ON THEM, MAN!  WE KILLT THEIR KING IN THE LONG LONG AGO TIME!

BRICK SAYS:  …when did you become me and when did I become you?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …what the fuck does that mean?!

BRICK SAYS:  …hey, how about that movie!  Anyway, the forces close in as Rika gets a new arm, and proceeds to chop people down!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  YOU CUT ME OFF!  The evil scientist zombie from the beginning is with the zombies, and he fucks shit all up!  He eats people!

BRICK SAYS:  …he eats the heroes!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Yeah.  Pretty much.  It becomes this big ass fight where Rika’s gotta save everyone from the zombie king, because if she does that, all the deaths will be for naught.

BRICK SAYS:  That’s the first time you’ve completely gotten into things.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …what?

BRICK SAYS:  Usually you ignore this, but now… you’re into it.  You’re really, really into it.  It’s almost scary.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …dude, no.  I ain’t like you.  I got things to do and stuff to handle-

BRICK SAYS:  You drive your El Camino all goddamn day… you do nothing besides trolling for chicks at the redneck mall… is there anything else do you do?!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  I AM A DAMN GOOD… CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES!

BRICK SAYS:  How so?!

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  I PAY MY TAXES!

BRICK SAYS:  …when?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …the CVS was kinda genero- HEY!

BRICK SAYS:  Yeah, everyone on the TV got nuked.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …classic ending.

BRICK SAYS:  …huh.  Never would have thought someone would have said such a thing- what now?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  …new TV, you wanting to watch TV… I dunno.  I kinda want to break the TV again.

BRICK SAYS:  See?  This is why we can’t never have anything!

ITHIYAK SAYS:  Master, it bad now?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Tell the little demon midget to shut up, eat his tuna, and get with it!  It’s time- it’s high time to end it all-

BRICK SAYS:  Dude, what-

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  IT’S TIME TO GO TO MY FAVORITE PLACE!

 

 

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BRICK SAYS:  …JACKPOT!

 

END OF DAY THREE