Posted on October 2nd, 2009 in Brick Prior, MORROR, Movies by Brick Prior

PREVIOUSLY ON MORROR…

We started in on our marathon, where Brick looked at four different movies (Demons, Demons 2, The Church, and The Ogre) before a helicopter crashed on his lawn, bringing him four uninvited, zombie-killing guests…

d-francis SAYS:  What’s with this movie watching shit?  Do they have a degree for that?

 

BRICK SAYS:  I don’t know if they do.

 

d-francis  SAYS:  Hey, pilot killing broad?

d-zoey   SAYS:  HE. WAS.  A. ZOMBIE.  And what do you want?!

d-francis  SAYS:  Do they have college degrees for watching movies?

d-zoey  SAYS:  I don’t know, I skipped Film Theory.

 

 

 

d-louis  SAYS:  I loved that class.  One time they showed “The Killer”- John Woo is the man!

d-francis  SAYS:  I hate John Woo- all those doves and shit give me a headache.  Give me Sam Peckinpah any day- now that was a man that could shoot the shit out of a movie!

d-bill SAYS:  Could we just cut the shit and get down to whatever it is this guy is doing here?

 

BRICK SAYS:  …well, uh… I’m watching horror movies.  All month.

 

d-zoey SAYS:  You… don’t have a life, do you?

 

BRICK SAYS:  …when’s the last time you washed that track jacket?  I didn’t know ‘shit’ was a fabric.

 

d-zoey SAYS:  It’s zombie shit, and- hey!  I will shoot you in the face!

d-francis SAYS:  He must be a pilot.

d-zoey SAYS:  SHUT UP!

 

ITHIYAK SAYS:  Master!  Master!  Stop fighting with odd people! New movie is ready!

BRICK SAYS:  Sweet.  Okay everyone, sit down… it’s time for a film.

 

d-francis SAYS:  I hate films.

d-louis SAYS:  You hate everything.  Let’s get on with it.  It’s a long way to go until Riverside.

 

BRICK SAYS:  …where the fuck are you people from?

 

d-bill d-zoey d-francis d-louis  ALL SAY:  HOBOKEN!

 

BRICK SAYS:  …

d-zoey SAYS:  Now THAT’S fuckin’ teamwork!

 

TODAY’S STOP:

vlcsnap-432889

 

 

d-louis  SAYS:  Now that’s pretty foreboding.

d-zoey SAYS:  This is about people, isn’t it?

d-bill SAYS:  If there’s any cannibalism in this, I’m kicking everyone’s ass.  Gotta stay away from that long pork.  It’ll scar you for life.

d-francis SAYS:  …did you just admit that you were gay?  Long pork?  What the fuck is that?

d-bill SAYS:  It’s eating human flesh, you idiot.

d-francis SAYS:  …I hate long pork.

 

vlcsnap-436205

 

 

d-bill SAYS:  …that can’t be for horses.

 d-francis SAYS: It says ‘equine’ on the fucking side of the bag- how can it not be for horses?!

d-bill SAYS:  Why would you buy only two bags of horse food for a stable of horses?

d-francis SAYS:  …maybe he’s only got two horses?

d-bill SAYS:  …you’re an idiot.

 

vlcsnap-529247

 

 

d-bill SAYS:  Hmmm.  Never trust a man that makes his phonecalls when the sun’s going down.

d-louis  SAYS:  Why’s that?

d-bill SAYS:  He’s either calling for a hooker or calling in a hit.

d-francis SAYS:  …or he could be calling about food for his GODDAMN horses like it said on the side of the bag!

 

BRICK SAYS:  Dude, what’s up with you and horses?

 

d-francis SAYS:  I… actually used to like horses. 

d-zoey SAYS:  I call bullshit!

d-francis SAYS:  Well, I hate them now!  Does that make you feel any better?  I.  HATE.  HORSES.

d-louis  SAYS:  I hate them too.  Especially after a video I saw involving a chick and a horse.

 

BRICK SAYS:  …

 

d-louis  SAYS:  …people attach odd shit to their email sometimes.

 

 

vlcsnap-530433

 

d-zoey SAYS:  Nothing says love like trying to get your sister laid.

d-louis  SAYS:  …saw a video like that too.

 

BRICK SAYS:  …WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

 

d-louis  SAYS:  …what do you mean, ‘you people’?

 

BRICK SAYS:  …this is the last time a helicopter crashes on my lawn, I swear to God.

 

d-francis SAYS:  Ya know, we were doing just fine until the pilot got shot-

d-zoey SAYS:  I HOPE A TANK RAPES YOU IN THE EAR!  I kill one particular zombie- just one out of thousands, big ol’ zombie genocidist in training right over here, and I keep getting shit for it-

 

BRICK SAYS:  …please put the gun down.

 

d-zoey  SAYS:  …sorry.  I, um… do you have any weed?

 

BRICK SAYS: …no.

 

d-zoey  SAYS:  Sorry, it just… calms me down.

d-louis  SAYS:  I got some pills for that…

 

 

  vlcsnap-545491

 

d-bill SAYS:  Hrm.  I knew it was trafficking or something.  Probably trying to sell kids on the internet like those perverts you see on that Dateline show.

d-louis  SAYS:  Do you even watch TV?

d-bill SAYS:  Not since the zombie apocalypse.

 

BRICK SAYS:  …I must have missed something, there’s a zombie apocalypse?

ITHIYAK SAYS:  You board up window last week after drinking brown liquor!

BRICK SAYS:  …oh yeah.  That.  I thought it was the aftermath of one of my night terrors.

 

d-louis  SAYS:  …I got pills for that too!

 

 

 vlcsnap-546987

 

BRICK SAYS:  It’s not a horror movie without a mask.

d-louis SAYS:  What’s up with this music?  Makes me think I’m watching Glory.  This ain’t Glory.

 

BRICK SAYS:  Matthew Broderick isn’t saying the n-word for starters.

 

d-francis SAYS:  I hate that word.

d-louis  SAYS:  With those chaps you wear, I didn’t think that was a cause you’d champion.

d-francis SAYS:  Take that tie and hang yourself.

 

BRICK SAYS:  …

 

d-louis SAYS:  It’s okay.  It’s part of his charm.

 

 

vlcsnap-550846

 

BRICK SAYS:  Well, that was quick.

 

d-bill SAYS:  That’s how you gotta take people out sometimes.

d-zoey SAYS:  Wait until they get really wasted, break into their homes, strangle them, and shoot them with darts?

d-bill SAYS:  Yeah, but not to that extreme. 

d-zoey SAYS:  …uh huh.

 

 

 

vlcsnap-555241

 

d-zoey SAYS:  Okay, that’s fucked up.

d-louis SAYS:  I have NOT seen any movies like this.  Ever.  In my life.

d-francis SAYS:  This isn’t going to end well.

 

 

vlcsnap-559651

 

d-francis SAYS:  …aaaaand there goes his tongue.

d-zoey SAYS:  Yuck.

 

 

vlcsnap-563931

 

BRICK SAYS:  …what did I miss?

 

d-zoey SAYS:  Did you just fall asleep?

 

BRICK SAYS:  Yeah, I um… sometimes, the screams lull me to sleep.  Last night I watched some shitty flick called The Ogre, and I fell asleep three times.  It was INSANE.

 

d-zoey SAYS:  You’ve got problems.

d-louis  SAYS:  I most definitely have pills for that!

 

vlcsnap-576858

 

BRICK SAYS:  He’s either constipated or ready to kick Captain Crunch’s ass.

 

d-francis SAYS:  Oh, this old dude’s gonna get him for sure.  He just ripped out that kid’s tongue!  What do you think he’s gonna do to Scott Stapp post rehab?

d-zoey SAYS:  Ouch.

 

 

vlcsnap-579407

 

d-bill d-zoey d-francis d-louis  ALL SAY:  WITCH!!!

 

BRICK SAYS:  Holy shit, put your guns down!

 

vlcsnap-608782

 

d-bill d-zoey d-francis d-louis  ALL SAY:  WITCH!!!

 

BRICK SAYS: Do not shoot my TV!  If you shoot my TV, then I can’t finish this marathon and the children and the fans will be sad-

 

d-francis SAYS:  False alarm.

 

BRICK SAYS:  Whew.

 

 

vlcsnap-609767

 

 

d-francis SAYS:  Told ya they’d get him.

d-bill SAYS:  Now that’s torture.

d-zoey SAYS:  Yeah.  I bet the big dude smells like B.O. and cheese.

d-francis SAYS:  What?

d-zoey SAYS:  A little pain is nothing, but dealing with someone that reeks?  Absolutely terrible, man.

d-francis SAYS:  You’re weird.

 

 

 

vlcsnap-615039

 

d-bill SAYS:  See?  Human trafficking.

d-francis SAYS:  Maybe they’re gonna ship her off to some place where she gets eaten.

d-louis  SAYS:  There’s a video that-

d-bill SAYS:  For your sake, don’t complete that sentence.

d-zoey SAYS:  Who the hell’s gonna save these people?

 

vlcsnap-617401

 

d-zoey SAYS:  Oho.  This isn’t gonna end well.

 

BRICK SAYS:  Where the hell is this little girl’s parents?

 

vlcsnap-620542

 

BRICK SAYS:  I am sorry I asked.

 

 

vlcsnap-626150

 

 

d-bill SAYS:  Got ya, you son of a bitch!

d-louis  SAYS:  Grab the keys and get the hell out of there, man!

d-zoey SAYS:  Did you fall asleep again?!

 

BRICK SAYS:  Yeah.  There was screaming.

 

d-zoey SAYS:  You are so odd.

 

BRICK SAYS:  It’s a living!

 

 

vlcsnap-627158

 

 

d-francis SAYS:  So, they got a truck.  How convenient.

d-louis  SAYS:  That little shanty town they pulled up to is even more convenient.

d-bill SAYS:  That’s not a shanty town, that’s a death trap.

 

 

 

vlcsnap-628106

 

BRICK SAYS:  YOU DON’T SPLIT UP IN DEATH TRAPS POSING AS SHANTY TOWNS!

 

d-zoey SAYS:  Uh oh, somebody woke up!

 

BRICK SAYS:  BRING ON THE DEATH!

 

vlcsnap-631714

 

BRICK SAYS:  BOOM!  CROWBAR TO THE BACK!  SHE DEAD!

 

d-zoey SAYS:  Well, I’m frightened.  Anyone else?

d-francis SAYS:  …this is getting good.

 

 

 

vlcsnap-632944

 

d-bill SAYS:  They’ve had that poor girl stashed at this place all this time.

d-francis SAYS:  She’s about to get used as bait.

 

 

vlcsnap-636285

 

d-francis SAYS:  See?!  See?!  I totally called it!

d-louis  SAYS:  That old dude’s gotta get some revenge now!

d-bill SAYS:  …

d-louis SAYS:  No offense.

d-bill SAYS:  None taken.

 

vlcsnap-638183

 

BRICK SAYS:  They’re going to call him ‘Stubby’ for the rest of his days.

 

d-francis SAYS:  GET THE SAW, MAN!

 

 

 

vlcsnap-640926

 

d-zoey SAYS:  Now that’s pretty damn hardcore.  If only we had a chainsaw…

 

BRICK SAYS:  …sequel.

 

d-zoey SAYS:  What?

 

BRICK SAYS:  …nothing.

 

d-louis SAYS:  Well, I guess everything’s okay now-

 

vlcsnap-643245

 

d-bill d-zoey d-francis d-louis  ALL SAY: CROWNED!

 

BRICK SAYS:  Now, that was harsh.

 

d-francis SAYS:  Everyone just fucking died- who pulled all this off?

 

 

vlcsnap-644343

 

d-bill d-zoey d-francis d-louis  ALL SAY:  WITCH!!!

 

BRICK SAYS:  HOLY SHIT!  YOU GUYS JUST SHOT MY TV!

 

d-louis  SAYS:  I got pills here in case you’re distraught about it-

 

BRICK SAYS:  GET.  OUT.

 

d-bill SAYS: If you see any other survivors, tell them we’re trying to meet up with the Army.

 

BRICK SAYS:  I will tell them to fuck the fuck off.  Bye.

 

d-francis SAYS:  On foot again?  Son of a bitch.  I hate walking.

d-zoey SAYS:  And here we go again.

left-4-dead

 

BRICK SAYS:  And they’re gone, which means that now… I need a new TV.

ITHIYAK SAYS:  Master!  Sale at Best Buy tomorrow!

BRICK SAYS:  Do you have any money?

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Of course he doesn’t, but I do, chumpstain!

BRICK SAYS:  Oh hell no.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  That’s right, bitch.  You’re gonna owe me big.

BRICK SAYS:  I’m not washing your El Camino.

RICK PRIOR SAYS:  Nuh uh, dumpster baby.  We’re watching what I want to watch tomorrow.

BRICK SAYS:  …shit.

 

END OF DAY TWO!