Posted on July 31st, 2009 in Brick Prior, Movies, SHAW-A-DAY-A-THON by Brick Prior

It’s one of those crazy romantic comedies with fighting throughout the whole thing!  Oh, and Gordon Liu’s wearing a wig again!  Sweet Jiminy Jesus, this film is insane!

THE TRAILER

 

THE OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS

“A young woman marries a dying senior member of a martial arts family in order to protect her family’s fortunes, leading to a duel with a greedy relative.”

THIS IS WHAT I THOUGHT HAPPENED SINCE I HAD TO WATCH ACTION AND READ SUBTITLES AT THE SAME TIME, HAR HAR HAR

To begin, a note: I hate wills.  Why do I hate wills?  Because it drives families apart.  Not only have I seen it time and time again, but it also happens in this very movie!  Who’d’ve thunk it!?

Here’s the skinny, minnies:

This dude’s about to die and his shady brother wants all his dough, so he marries a younger woman so she can get said dude’s assets to the proper family members that deserve it.

That’s the, uh, short version.

The long version goes down like this (that’s what she said!):

The titular Auntie rolls into town, and is pretty much a fish out of water.  Were this an American remake, she’d be a high kicking Anne Hathaway with a Southern accent.

Huh.  I need some cold water.

Anyway, she hooks up with the family, and lets them know that she has control of the inheritance; it’s just a matter of time before everybody gets what they deserve.  Unfortunately, the evil uncle’s being a dick, so Auntie’s sticking around trying to make sure everything’s taken care of.  Headed to her new place, she ends up beating the shit out of a bunch of thugs because she is a high-kicking fish out of water.  Meanwhile, the favored uncle’s son Ah To comes back into town a bit early, having been at school in Hong Kong, and the daffy bastard has been taking English lessons, because he constantly peppers his Mandarin with English words that confuse the shit out of everyone else.

The wordplay gags can’t be replicated here because A) I don’t know Mandarin and #26, that would just be hard to get across.  Instead, as we go through the rest of the recap, just prepare to be blindsided by randomness.

So, Auntie and Ah To, who are around the same age, don’t really get along because she comes off as a country bumpkin and he’s a college boy.  ENGLISH! They end up getting into fights, Ah To tries to spy on her when she’s changing, it’s all sorts of madness. WHOA BABY!  He tries to take her to the market, and explain all the neat stuff that he saw in Hong Kong, like cars and whatnot.  She’s all confused by engines, and it’s cute. V-9 HEMI!  Since Auntie is a country bumpkin, she inadvertently headbutts a window trying to take a look at some makeup.  Yes, she’s so out of touch with the modern world, even glass confuses the poor girl.  Auntie ends up seeing a dress she likes, and gets all tarted up and her HRRRR DID and whatnot, but she can’t walk in heels so she stumbles into everyone and knocks shit over, which leads to a fight.  SEXY TIME!  Auntie’s embarrassed because when she kicks high she shows her panties, and Ah To can’t stop drooling about that.

Anyway, Ah To’s dad’s all embarrassed for them, but that doesn’t matter as they clash again with Ah To now being hooked on sixties’ music and dancing around like a spastic Monkee who just saw “Grease” for the first time, and Auntie’s not getting any of it.  DANCING! In order to GET IT (no entendre about the usual entendre that would go there, just the other entendre that only four people know about), they both hit up a masquerade with Ah To dressed as Robin Hood and Auntie as Maid Marion.  IN THE SHERWOOD FOREST, MAGIC!  Naturally, this leads to a fight with some goons dressed as the Three Musketeers, complete with an extended cameo from Gordon Liu in a blond wig as one of Ah To’s chorus friends who also manages to shout randomness whenever given the opportunity!

OPPORTUNITY, YES!  LIKE IT NOW!

It all ends with everyone getting arrested and shouting at the police in that weird, broken English fashion that happens throughout the whole movie.  DADDY!, as Ah To would say.  Shit goes down as the evil side of the family gets their hands on the will, and Auntie and Ah To have to sneak into their place in order to get it back. IT’S CRAZY! It’s all booby-trapped though, with gimmicked floors and bridges and shit like that, and eventually the two get into a big twenty minute brawl with the hired help before Ah To escapes and gets the rest of the family, and then it’s another twenty minute fight sequence as the Evil Uncle and his son get the shit kicked out of them, the money goes to the right people, and that’s the end!  WOW, THE WOMAN AT THE END OF THE FILM THAT LOOKS LIKE AUNTIE SPEAKS ENGLISH.

WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MOVIE

Wow, this was a lot of fun- it was the perfect mix of action and comedy; although the humor doesn’t translate too well due to subtitles, the intent of the jokes is still hilarious.  One of the great things about comedy in any medium is that good humor is universal, and this film is an example of that.  Kara Hui, who plays the titular Auntie of the film, absolutely shines in her first starring role- not to mention with absolutely solid performances from Hsiao Hao (Ah To), Lau Kar-Leung (the good Uncle), and Gordon Liu ((his extended cameo as one of Ah To’s friends is insanely random and awesome).  If you like early Jackie Chan stuff, you’ll definitely love this.

Picture time!

SHE’S TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO SHE HAS TO FIGHT FIRST

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I’M TELLING YOU GUYS, SHE DOESN’T SPEAK ENGLISH AND SHE SLAPPED ME FOR WALKING IN ON HER WHILE SHE WAS HALF-NEKKID

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THE MANDARIN VERSION OF THE MONKEES WAS A FUCKING FAILURE

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SERIOUSLY, THESE TWO KIDS ARE HIGH AS SHIT

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TOMORROW

It’s the final movie of our marathon, and it’s also the last Shaw Brothers film produced in the past decade.  Fitting, ain’t it?  Old meets new when I take a look at “Drunken Monkey”.