Posted on July 26th, 2009 in Brick Prior, Movies, SHAW-A-DAY-A-THON by Brick Prior

David Chiang is back, and so is the Ragu spilling out of his body.  SPOILER ALERT!

THE TRAILER

There is no trailer anywhere on the internets for this one!  Boo!  I will have to make one myself and retroactively add it to this post!

THE OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS

“In this thrilling martial arts twist on the tale of Robin Hood, a charismatic highwayman (Death Duel and Shaolin Temple’s David Chiang) with formidable sword skills decides to help the poor by robbing from thieves and distributing the wealth. This plan doesn’t sit well with the criminals, who band together to stop him. Fortunately our hero has a powerful blade on his side, not to mention popular beauty Lily Li (Black Magic) at his side. A high-spirited blend of action, romance, and comedy, this dynamic Shaw Brothers classic from fearless director Chang Cheh (Five Deadly Venoms) is a timeless example of pure, high-voltage entertainment.”

THIS IS WHAT I THOUGHT HAPPENED SINCE I HAD TO WATCH ACTION AND READ SUBTITLES AT THE SAME TIME, HAR HAR HAR

Well, this definitely is Robin Hood as seen through the eyes of a person who likes their hero to look like he is constantly jumping on trampolines.  If there’s one thing I’ve never mentioned about David Chiang’s multiple appearances in this month long marathon, it’s the fact that our boy David is constantly jumping on a trampoline whenever he leaps into battle.  Of course, you can never see the trampoline due to the magic of movie making, but goddamnit, I know it’s there.

So, Chiang plays the Wandering Swordsman, and he gets the nifty idea to rob from thieves and spread the wealth around to people.  Awesome idea, but hey- here’s a note: DON’T ROB FROM THIEVES!  It’ll only come back and bite you in the ass- hell, here’s an example from my own, tumultuous past.

One day this van crashed outside of the Shop n’ Save me and my buddy (at the time) Yontel worked at.  Yontel always got made fun of because of the fact that he was from South African, yet constantly said he was black.  There’s a big cultural brouhaha about that that I will spare you the details from.  Needless to say, he got made fun of for that- plus, he had a huge accent for some reason.  It’s odd to think about now.

Anyway, the van crashes, and Yontel’s busy checking the stuff out.  There were a lot of toasters in the van, so dumbass goes, “I think we can get some money for the toasters.”  I was against that because one: I was 19 and didn’t want to be selling toasters on the corner, and two: did I mention that I was 19 and didn’t want to be selling toasters on the corner?  What if I got caught selling toasters?  My parents would be ashamed, I’d have to get a real job (although it would have been a definite step up from working at the Shop ‘n Save, now that I think about it), and the whole experience would suck.

Yontel ended up getting a shopping cart from Giant and getting about ten toasters to take and sell.

They found him in an alleyway with both his hands cut off and someone had sprinkled some crack on him.

SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO THIEVES?!

Back to the movie!

So, the Wandering Swordsman has stolen some riches, and proceeds to distribute them, yadda yadda yadda… but he starts screwing shit up and the thieves get wind of it, so they send the entire Earth after him to make him pay.  We’re then treated to about twenty minutes of crazy trampoline assisted slaughter, and tons of “YEEEEEEEEEEARGH!” and “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!” come into play.  The Wandering Swordsman gets run through, but manages to stash the gold, and makes one last attempt to make sure it gets back to the proper people.

He puts up a good fight, giving it his all and cutting back on all the trampoline jumping, but eventually he’s run through again just as the cavalry arrives.  Bad timing, gang!

They’re able to even the odds up, and the Wandering Swordsman gets the final kill on the Main Dude, and finally dies.

We then end the movie just like “The Heroic Ones” complete with the same music.  Hey, David Chiang died in that one too!

Oh wait, no- next we get the REAL ENDING with the Wandering Swordsman’s body being taken back to the village, and that is that.

Meh.

WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MOVIE

Definitely more of the same concerning this one, although I did like the onslaught of enemies the Wandering Swordsman had to face at the end.  The ending of the movie itself was par for the course concerning something with David Chiang in it, so I wasn’t surprised that his character died yet again. 

This movie definitely needed some Ti Lung, though.  Maybe next time.

And now, pictures!

NO MAN, I AM NOT HIGH

 vlcsnap-2427134  

HEY, YOU WON’T GUESS WHAT’S UP HERE!  AIR!  AND STUFF!

vlcsnap-2428341

AWWW CRAP, GOTTA GET THIS OUT OF ME

vlcsnap-2429579

OH, THE RED STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO STAY ON THE INSIDE? WHOOPS!

vlcsnap-2429923

 

TOMORROW

We are in the final stretch!  Only five movies remain!  Tomorrow’s film- “Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires”!  It’s a Hammer Studios/Shaw Brothers collaboration!  Hey, who brought a damn Dracula up into the mix?