What do the numbers mean?  Well, since I can do whatever I want on the Internet, consider this a Greatest Hits of the past three BBB’s that were never posted because I manage my time horribly.

So, let’s do it!  MISH MASH SURPRISES AHEAD!

THIS JUST IN

Fuck you, Yoda.

FLASHBACK #1

I ranted about Soul Calibur IV a lot when it came out.  That was fun.  However, the rant sucks, so I am not pasting it here.

ME AND YOU ARE GETTING DIVORCED, FANDOM

Let me explain.  Granted, I believe Katsucon 15 (when is that again?) set back my personal social development about ten years, as late Saturday night the 14th, all hopped up on various spirits and immediately after a viewing of Friday the 13^th (from 1980, natch), there was someone loudly rap-rap-rapping on my hotel room door.  So, I got up and tried to chase them.  Since I didn’t get arrested and didn’t have to wash any blood out my clothes, I have to assume that I was unsuccessful in caving in their face. 

Ah well.  Maybe at AMA.

Now that I’m home,  back at work, and back in my cave, I‘ve been thinking about why this became Angrycon ’09.  Up through last Thursday, I was quite excited to go- then the whole debacle with the registration situation (hee, that rhymes) hit (they combined walk-in registration and pre-registration lines, turning this into a clusterfuck of massive proportions), and my happy-time-fun-levels went down significantly.  After spending the better part of Friday standing in line, I hit the dealer’s room and had to dodge various Stormtroopers and Boba Fetts (yes… at an anime convention), rambling teenagers barreling into people and apologizing profusely in Japanese only for overzealous mouthbreathers to snidely tell them that they weren’t using the proper words, only for me to angrily tell them to SPEAK FUCKING ENGLISH BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A FUCK AND YOU SHOULDN’T BE RUNNING THROUGH A GODDAMN CROWDED DEALER’S ROOM IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE, which made me feel  even more dejected, because the last thing I want to do at a con is be exposed to a bunch of lameassery… well,  more than I expect to deal with at a con, that is.  Add in the fact that the lighting in the dealer’s room was horrible, so much so that I could not accurately peruse a good portion of the various wares.  Factor in not being able to wear my jacket in the game room (which is very minor, but since this is the first time in fifteen years I’ve encountered a game room that didn’t let people wear jackets or coats, it’s really out of left field and a possible DICK MOVE by con staff.  If someone’s got specific reasons for the move besides "uh someone might steal controllers", whether it be safety issues or whatnot, then that’s awesome.  I’m just curious about it all.) Factor in me returning to my room only to step over someone splayed out in the hallway with a sewing machine trying to get her frilly little costume all finished up before the masquerade, which annoyed me to no end because that’s what a hotel room is for… not the hallway.  Factor in that eating at "Papa Joe’s" completely destroyed my stomach, and factor in the fact that no one was selling Street Fighter IV early on Sunday… and yeah, disappointing weekend.

I would like to say that I don’t think that an 18+ convention would solve things, because you’re always going to deal with people who shouldn’t be allowed to function in a social environment.  However, I am wondering: is this the normal behavior at cons these days, or am I just becoming a bitter old man sooner than I’d like to?

OF COURSE, I HAVE A SLIGHT CONFESSION TO MAKE

Truth of the matter is, I don’t watch a whole lot of anime anymore- I’m not current with any series, and I much rather prefer to pick up full season releases rather than shelling out $20-$25 per DVD.  I never really got into Bleach, Naruto, or anything else that Cartoon Network picked up in order to fill the Dragonball Z void.   I don’t actively read manga because my bank account can’t take it.  Needless to say that I am hideously out of touch with anything that fandom has latched onto, so while most folks at cons squee and titter and damn near faint over things, I’m the guy in the corner of the room wondering what the hell is going on as he cranks up his iPod and tries to get away from it all.  Granted, I’m not all gloom and doom when it comes to this stuff, but experiences like Katsucon 15 make me wonder if this has all passed me by.  Yes, I still like the medium, but dealing with the majority of the people?  Well, that’s something I’m still trying to come to terms with.

IT COULD BE WORSE

Some time ago, someone on the forums (do your research and join, why don’t you) posted a bit of a mini-rant about the Dragonball series due to its impending and delayed live-action movie release in April.  I am getting too fucking old to get my boxers/briefs/boxer-briefs/jockey shorts in a bunch over a goddamned live-action adaptation of a series that’s over twenty years old (starting from its inception… yes, the Dragonball franchise is older than some of you) so I decided to reach out to the Internets and find the source of all this hatred.

What I found was a copy of the live-action Dragonball movie.

For SRRRIOUS.

Yes, I have a copy of the live-action Dragonball movie, and yes, it is as awful as you would think it could be.

Because… it was made in 1989.

Did you see that clip?  If not, watch it, because I have a feeling that as bad as it is, it’s probably going to be a more “faithful” adaptation Dragonball that 20^th Century Fox’s Dragonball movie will be.

Yes, the 1989 film has bad CG, alien ships that show up out of nowhere, Goku being borderline retarded, characters resembling Bulma, Yamcha, Puar, and Oolong (although they aren’t due to this film being an unlicensed hackjob) , and Master Roshi being a king-sized pervert.

I wonder if people are gonna dress up as the American movie versions of Goku and company…

Oh God, that’s going to be horrendous.

DON’T DO IT!

I WROTE THE BULK OF THAT TWO MONTHS AGO

I did, I sure as hell did.

TOPIC SHIFT

Scott Pilgrim is awesome.  If I could fuck a book, I wouldn’t, nor would I watch you do it.  Get those thoughts out of your head!

I WANT TO USE THE DASHES, SO BLAME DR. DETROIT

-Half of the time, I only mean half of what I say.

-Why is there a Kung Fu Panda TV special?  Furthermore, why is there something called “Kung Fu Panda”?  Even furthermore, what is this “kung fu” shit anyway?

-I think that there is someone out there that is waiting for the titular King in the new show Kings to bring back slavery because that would equal TV ratings.

-This is not as funny or awesome as Office Hours is.  I AM FAIL.

I AM GOING BACK TO MY OLD GIMMICK NOW

Fuck shoes, beans, Ajax, Hitler, spoiled peanut butter, but not the tippie ties.

NOT THE TIPPIE TIES NO

You can’t hurt the children.  EVER.

I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THIS WHOLE CHRIS BROWN/RHIANNA THING

This is news now?  Seriously?  Bottom line:  Chris Brown either A) has a little dick, B) really needs to work out his issues and get some help, or C) got herpes from Rhianna, hence the beatdown.  Only one of those is true, but since I am not paid to be a life coach nor a person who gives correct answers, I’m not saying which one.

Anyway!

While this is all titillating for the masses as a beloved singer doth struck another beloved singer in the face when it was previously thought that they had a love (a love), a love (a love), a love that folks don’t find every say.

And some people?  Some people probably don’t want that love between Chris Brown and Rhianna to slip away.  In fact, they’re probably going…

CUE THE MUSIC

Bring back that loving feeling!

Whoa-oh, that loving feeling!

BRING BACK THAT LOVING FEELING

NOW IT’S GONE, GONE, GONE

…and their fans can’t go on… no-no-no-no-no.

SERIOUSLY

It’s a sad situation all around.  But it’s not news.

SO STOP IT

Let’s get happy, people.

STREET FIGHTER IV IS BADASS

Play it and relive your childhood as an adult.  Think of it as a version of Super Street Fighter II Turbo that’s grown up right along with you… that’s the best way I can describe Capcom’s latest entry in the SF series.  Numerical scores are obsolete in this case- either you dig it or you don’t.  I can’t really fault such design choices as the throwing system (you gotta press two buttons like in Alpha 3, so there’s no excuse i.e. “Ooops, sorry- didn’t mean to throw you!”), setting controller inputs, or whatever folks are bitching about these days; the game is gorgeous, plays well, and is a hell of a lot of fun, which is all that I ask for these days.

Drop sixty bucks and treat yourself, why don’t you?

BIG UPS TO CLINT ROPER

That was a shout out.  I can do that.

NEXT TIME I WILL HAVE THESE THINGS TO SAY

Thoughts on My Name Is Bruce, Friday the 13^th 2K9, House of the Dead: Overkill, jeans, pants, and I will also tell you about the second guy that backs me up in a fight besides Bobby Rhodes.

AND NOW, FOR MY CLOSING WORDS

Subscribe and-slash-or-listen to the podcast, join the forums, and enjoy yourselves, but not in a Biblical sense by yourselves, because I don’t wanna know about that.

Oh, and we are still looking for a fourth member to our zombie killing squad, because that’s how we do things on Xbox Live.

Brick Prior has missed this, and is pleading that he gets out of the padded room more often.