Posted on October 26th, 2008 in A Horror A Day, Brick Prior, Movies by Brick Prior

Hi.

Fuck this movie. 

TODAY’S FILM:  Diary of the Dead


I refuse to call this what it says on the DVD sleeve, which is:  "George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead".  Needless to say, I refuse to believe that this is the fifth entry in Romero’s Dead series.  There is the small inkling that this is the start of the zombie world we see in "Land of the Dead", but other than that… pfffbbt.

Jog on.

THE TRAILER


THE RECAP, BRICK PRIOR STYLE

The most promise this movie has is at the beginning where we see news footage of the zombie outbreak, but all that goes downhill as we’re introduced to one dimensional characters and saddled with an intermittent yet annoying voiceover.

Like I said, fuck this movie… and to be honest, it hurts me to say that.

Here’s some personal backstory:

I was the only kid in my neighborhood that actively watched horror movies- this was in the mid to late nineties before DVD had hit and rare movies were still scarce to watch.  I remember renting Evil Dead 2 from Blockbuster on VHS and dubbing it with two VCRs (yes, shaddup, I own it now).  I remember going to friends’ houses after convincing my buddy with the Blockbuster card to rent Demons and all of us laughing at Tony the Pimp.  I remember the sheer horror I had after I bought a two-tape set of the director’s cut of Dawn of the Dead from Suncoast and being absolutely appalled by the final mall sequence… you know, the one with all the guts.

That last bit of imagery?

Well, that was the movie that made me stand up and say, "Hey, this is worth something."  In an odd way, it made me love film; it made me love what could be accomplished on celluloid, and from then on in, I just had fun and glee and joy with the zombie genre, not to mention film in general.

So, imagine my dismay when I started watching this garbage.

To be fair, the movie opens in an awesome fashion: footage of the zombie outbreak as it begins.  Once the voiceover hit, however, everything goes downhill- due to said voiceover, I know plot points are going to be handed to me on a silver platter ("This was Jay’s last film" or some such), and it’s really insulting as a viewer.  To be fair, what we actually see is awesome- I just don’t need some heavy-handed bullshit voiceover telling me what’s what.

MORE MORE MORE MAKES FILM GO, apparently.

So, the movie goes on- a bunch of students shooting a horror movie are caught up in a zombie outbreak.  They flee, run up on the asshole military who let them leave, head to a mansion where their friend went off to, and they’re stuck!

That is the movie in a nutshell.

There are no characters you can latch on.  This isn’t a return to roots for George Romero.  This is an infuriating pile of shit because the promise is there (we get to see the outbreak of the zombie apocalypse through video clips), yet nothing actually happens besides what you expect (people confused dark room hey zombie are you there say what hey wait no you dead we kill hey say what stop that damn it you dead now shit!  shit!  we trapped guess we stuck!).  The movie takes place through what various cameras see, but it has no weight due to the annoying voiceover (from a character that you never get a chance to care about) that tells you what happens before the movie even starts, which makes it a film you can’t really invest yourself in.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

BRICK’S FINAL WORDS FOR THE DAY

Needless to say, I’m disappointed.  This movie hurt me so much.  As a Romero fan, I’m hoping the "shark" rumors aren’t legit for his next "Dead" movie, and if he does revisit zombies, then it will all mean something in the end.

Good zombie films (and zombie fiction, for that matter) need weight.  They need an anchor.  Take a look at "Night" (yes, the original and the remake), "Dawn", and "Shaun of the Dead"- all three are seminal zombie movies, and all three have characters that you absolutely care about.  Granted, there are other zombie films, but those are the ones that get it done to the utmost degree.  If the connection isn’t there, then no one gives a shit.  Sometimes, chomping on guts does not a movie make.

TOMORROW

Night of the Living Dead… hey Sixties, meet the early Nineties!  You guys won’t get along at all!

What are people saying about "A Horror A Day"?

Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

Day 2!
DrDetroit
Re: A Horror A Day

I enjoy A Horror A Day!
Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

I'm happy that you enjoy it!  Here is Day 3!
Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

It's like the fate of the world depends on me!  Day 4!
DrDetroit
Re: A Horror A Day

This is awesome.  This is making me want to bust out some old zombie movies and take a mental health day.  Maybe next week!

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