Posted on October 23rd, 2008 in A Horror A Day, Brick Prior, Movies by Brick Prior

So, we’ve kicked it into high gear, and by that I mean just me, myself, and I.  Cue an old school De La Soul song, because we’re gonna have some fun.

Day 24 coming up! 

TODAY’S FILM: The Burning

We’re back at camp for lots of "killin’", and this time, it’s due to Miramax’s first film!  That’s right, before they went after the Oscars religiously during the Nineties, the Weinstein brothers made a horror movie waaaaaay back in the Eighties.  It’s one of the gruesome sort- this was labeled as one of the dreaded "video nasties" (banned in some countries overseas) and had been doomed to be a bit of a cult movie (you know, the kind of film you find bootlegged at cons) until it magically started to pop up on cable a little under ten years ago… at least around these parts.

It just got a legit DVD release a little over a year ago… but is it worth it?

You know the drill by now.

THE TRAILER

THE RECAP, BRICK PRIOR STYLE

I was never one of those kids that got bussed off to camp for a couple of weeks while my parents got along without me, so I have no idea as to how the whole "summer camp out in the woods" thing works.  Yes, I personally have helped to ruin various camping trips for high schools and whatnot (NOTE:  never say you’re going to stab someone- people might take you seriously), but as far as me getting shuttled off some place for a couple of weeks at a time because my parents don’t want me around is something I’m unfamiliar with.

Except for that one time they let me go to Australia for three weeks after I made it out of middle school with my life in tact… but that’s another story for another time.

Anyway, my knowledge of getting sent off to "camp" comes from a healthy visual diet of various Friday the 13th movies, Meatballs, Ernest Goes to Camp, and constant viewings of Salute Your Shorts on Nickelodeon… by which I mean that I would never cause the goddamn camp groundsman to catch on fire and go psycho and kill everyone… because that’s exactly what happens here.  Hit on Melody, yes, I’d go for tha- (wait, she was on Hey, Dude… nevermind)… but set someone on fire because you hate them?

Yes, I’d do it, but not when I was a youngster!

Brain, could you repeat the question?

Okay, here’s the deal- I do not condone tweeners and teenagers and people going off to camp and setting the staff on fire inadvertently or otherwise.  THEY’RE THE CAMP’S WORKERS, YOU DON’T SET THE CAMP’S WORKERS ON FIRE!

There.

Needless to say, that’s how it all goes down- some kids wanna give ol’ Cropsy a bunch of shit because they got treated like crap- so they get themselves a dessicated skull with a bunch of MAGGOTS MAGGOTS OH GOD NOT MAGGOTS AGAIN LEAVE THEM MAGGOTS BEHIND LET’S LEAVE THEM MAGGOTS BEHIND SING BITCHES on it- Cropsy freaks out, knocks his lantern (remember those?  I BRRRRLY do) onto his bed, and he goes up in flames.  He’s a hootin’ and a hollerin’ and douses himself in the nearby river.  Years later, after numerous skin graft treatments and reconstructive surgery, he’s unleashed into the world… where he promptly kills a hooker that could probably win in the "Worst Looking Hooker In A Movie" category at 1981′s AbG Awards.

DeLoreans and whatnot.

So, Cropsy heads back his old campgrounds that are now tended by Holly Hunter and Jason Alexander, among others.  Fisher Stevens is a camper, which makes this a really fucking odd movie besides all the weird camp shit going on.  They’re having the kids do all the usual activities- softball, crafts, that other shit movie kids at movie camp do… but there’s a difference!

There’s a pervert on the loose and he gets caught!

Ol’ Alfred likes looking at girls in the shower (note to forums: yes, there are boobies in this), and one of the counselors has to ask him what the fuck his problem is even though he knows what the fuck his problem is- fuck ain’t happening, that’s what.  Alfred gets harassed by a bully for looking at boobs, he’s made fun of, Jason Alexander moons someone, people get killed by Cropsy, it’s a fun time.

Of course, the stand out sequence is when Fisher Stevens and a group of campers make a raft to try to get help, yet come up on a random canoe out in the water.  Figuring that there’s someone in the canoe that can help them, they investigate and promptly get hacked up for their curiosity.  Like, seriously hacked up- the camera does not cut away, and we get to see every single chop and stab.  Tom Savini was behind the effects on this one, and it shows.

Everyone’s split up, and Cropsy takes his frustrations out on the bully and the chick Alfred spied on early in the movie.  He’s not playing around… the counselors have succeeded in getting the kids isolated and headed to safety, but one sticks around in order to find Alfred, who is in some serious shit with Cropsy for finding a couple of bodies.  He heads on back and tracks Alfred down at an abandoned barn/mill/thing, and he starts to remember…

…he’s the reason for all of this.

Our goody two-shoes counselor was one of those kids that was there the night Cropsy got burned.

Hero Counselor faces down his demons and puts an axe in Cropsy’s head for good measure.

No sequel, thank God.  This one needs to stand alone.

BRICK’S FINAL THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY

This is an underrated and pretty much undiscovered classic.  Hunt it down for the sheer fact that you get to see what the Weinsteins were up to before they made all that goddamn money.

TOMORROW

Cemetery Man!

What are people saying about "A Horror A Day"?

Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

Day 2!
DrDetroit
Re: A Horror A Day

I enjoy A Horror A Day!
Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

I'm happy that you enjoy it!  Here is Day 3!
Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

It's like the fate of the world depends on me!  Day 4!
DrDetroit
Re: A Horror A Day

This is awesome.  This is making me want to bust out some old zombie movies and take a mental health day.  Maybe next week!

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