Posted on October 22nd, 2008 in A Horror A Day, Ithiyak, Movies by Brick Prior

Ungath t’ma aktu!

Greetings, it is I, Ithiyak.  Master summon me from kit he get from mall.  He bring me forth with blood of two promiscuous women, for Master too old to find virgin in this place of time and space.

Virgin blood overrated anyway.

Master give me moon chair and twelve bottles of Schlitz Malt Liquor to watch film.  He passed out in other room after drinking too much dark brown liquor and complain about job too much.

What movie he give me!?

Movie called: Werewolf Shadow!

I find clip on Internets! 

Man look like clean Spanish John Belushi before he wear suit and do flip in church before he die outside of movie.  In beginning, man is werewolf- police find him on slab.  Dig bullets out of him because they like Grissom on TV show that Master refuse to watch.  Ithiyak switch his Alias DVDs with Grissom show one day to show him power of scene investigations after crime.  Man wake up, turn to werewolf, kill men, then run out in dusky forest and kill woman.  He rip shirt off and expose bosom!  Modest bosom, folks on site forum will like blood dripping down breast during credits!

We go to people- I no care about that, want more killing- man named Daninsky who turn into werewolf that look like large brown stuffed pet monster- I give him hug and make him a pet!  HA HA.

Movie go on- pretty ladies travel in car get stranded, find Daninsky wandering.  He a tortured soul.  Walk around lots, brooding like TV vampire I see one day in void.  He take them in, let them sleep in house.  Me would summon tentacle demon to take ladies in peril, but that not sporting enough for Daninsky.  His crazy sister torment women, he warn them about her too late.  Day come, they walk around, crazy sister attack friend of Daninsky woman!  Rip shirt off!  Healthy bosom, like woman who make sex movie but without plastic!  Makte’alagu, na beta te!  Aww, she scared and covered up, sister run off, Daninsky displeased.

Woman need shirt off more!

Movie go on- Daninsky and women go to grave to find evil vampire lady- yep, that kind of movie.  Legend about lady who like Countess Bathory- she good woman, always smell nice.  Send Ithiyak card and malted veins on the Sabbath one year, very nice.  They get silver cross from grave, but main woman with small bosom cuts self and bleed on remains of other woman- not a good thing ever.  Healthy bosom woman killed, nooooo!  Sister killed, is good thing!  Never have crazy woman around to cause trouble with other women!  B-E-T say it not "pimpin’" before Master destroy other TV with brick and yell at Ithiyak for watching B-E-T earlier today.

He then get me pinkie toe of relative of Hilton woman who make bad tape and get famous for it.  I happy!

Movie go on!

Daninsky need silver cross from lady grave to kill self- remaining woman don’t want that.  She love him.  He love her.  Only woman with true love for huggable werewolf can kill him. 

SADNESS!

Bathory lady awake, woman go after with silver cross after her along with man who make no sense for film.  He just show up out of nowhere halfway through.  WHY?! Less screentime for healthy bosom lady!

We go to final fight!

Daninsky show up as werewolf and he and vampire lady wrestle!  It not glorious!  No suplex!  No mudhole stomping!  He kill woman easily, and then stabbed by true love!  He revert back to Spanish John Belushi.  End of film.

Happy music over credits- why torture me film!  An’danna baktu malfesena!

Stack of movies near me.  Master yell that he get me more weak drink that hurt liver. 

Oh, I summoned here for what reason?!

Samhain aktanabekta!

What are people saying about "A Horror A Day"?

Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

Day 2!
DrDetroit
Re: A Horror A Day

I enjoy A Horror A Day!
Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

I'm happy that you enjoy it!  Here is Day 3!
Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

It's like the fate of the world depends on me!  Day 4!
DrDetroit
Re: A Horror A Day

This is awesome.  This is making me want to bust out some old zombie movies and take a mental health day.  Maybe next week!

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