Posted on October 15th, 2008 in A Horror A Day, Brick Prior, Movies by Brick Prior

I know what you’re thinking: how in the hay-ell am I going to post about an addition 13 movies when I have 16 more movies to write about? 

Well, one answer is- I’ve got some help.

I was tooling around the mall the other day looking for used copies of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 so I can sell them on eBay (don’t talk to me about that particular game possibly being released on Xbox Live.  It will ruin the resell market, damnit!) when I walked into a random, out of the way shop- you know the ones that sell all the weird trinkets and stuff and has half a case full of incense and "pipes"

Yeah, one of those.  

NOTE: No, I didn’t walk into a "head" shop.  I know to avoid one of those when I see one. I used to be in college, you know.

Anyway, I was looking around because I thought they had some Japanese Transformers that I wanted, when I saw it.

I now own a "YOUR OWN PERSONAL DEMON SUMMONING KIT" made by HellCo.  As long as I don’t wake up covered in blood and surrounded by entrails, everything’s gonna be okay

So yeah, that’s where those reviews are going to be coming from.

Straight from HELL. 

TODAY’S FILM: City of the Living Dead

More Fulci, and this one is well… interesting.  Someone pukes their guts out… literally!  Someone gets their brain ripped out!  Someone takes a drill through the head!  There’s a psychic involved that starts this whole mess off!  Are you gonna call her for your free reading once all this shit is said and done?

Trailer, what say you?

THE TRAILER


THE RECAP, BRICK PRIOR STYLE

To be blunt- since this is a Fulci film, I’m not gonna sit here and nitpick over every little detail- Lucio Fulci’s films are an exercise in surreal images and gratuitously drippy gore.  This one is no exception, as it is the only movie I’ve seen where someone pukes up their own guts.

Here’s how it all goes down- and by that I mean the movie and not just the gut puking, although that is included:

A priest hangs himself and, due to the sacrilege involved, opens up one of the Seven Gates to Hell Guess what?  One was opened in The House By The Cemetery as well!  I wonder what’s gonna happen in The Beyond?  Anyway, psychic Mary Woodhouse sees all this shit go down during a seance, and it’s so damn traumatic that she up and dies.

But wait!  She ain’t dead, and Peter, some random reporter, knows it!  He hauls ass to the gravesite, and since there is no embalming in Italian movies, busts through the grave with a pickaxe in order to free her!  Then they’re off to save the world before All Saints Day, or else everyone’s gonna die thanks to an evil zombie priest and his legion of teleporting zombies.

That’s right.

TELEPORTING.  ZOMBIES.

If and when the zombie apocalypse does come, I hope we get the shamblers and not these teleporting fucks, because we’re all dead.  Say you’ve holed yourself up in a safe room and fall asleep… it ain’t gonna help because a goddamn zombie is gonna teleport in and kill you!

TELEPORTING ZOMBIES MEAN THAT EVERYONE LOSES!

It’s not fair and it’s not right, but it’s okay because Peter and Mary have ditched Paul and are looking to save_us.222!

So, they head to Dunwich to stop the evil zombie priest, and all sorts of fun shit happens to other people.  See, the priest came back just a tad bit early, and due to all the impending evil, some zombies have hopped back into the realm a bit early to fuck people up- so they teleport in and kill folks, or the priest uses his hellish unpriestly mojo to cause something bad to happen… like the gut puking.  Plus, other people are going crazy- for example, a father finds out that the local lothario has defiled his daughter, so he attacks the bastard and shoves a drill through his skull.  An… extreme response, to say the least.

Eventually Mary and Peter hit the cemetery… but what the fuck? THEY’RE TOO LATE!  THEY SAY FUCK IT AND KILL THE PRIEST WITH A CROSS!  THE WORLD’S GONNA END!

And it does, because this movie doesn’t even have an ending.  Rumor has it that the budget ran out, so all you get is "OH MY GOD!  NOOOOO-" and then some credits.

Yeah. Not good.

The movie itself does have its moments though- atmosphere is the name of the game here, and this movie delivers in spade.

A good plot?  Not so much.

Oh, and in case you thought I was joking?

GUT PUKING COMING UP!  DO NOT WATCH IF YOU ARE EASILY SICKENED BY THINGS OF A DISGUSTING NATURE!  I AM SRRRRRROUS!

BRICK’S FINAL WORDS FOR THE DAY

It’s good for a marathon, but I wouldn’t call it one of my favorite horror movies of all time.

That movie comes up in a couple of days.

BRING ON MORE FULCI!

TOMORROW

Nightma- wait, I already did that one!  What could it be?!

What are people saying about "A Horror A Day"?

Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

Day 2!
DrDetroit
Re: A Horror A Day

I enjoy A Horror A Day!
Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

I'm happy that you enjoy it!  Here is Day 3!
Brick Prior
Re: A Horror A Day

It's like the fate of the world depends on me!  Day 4!
DrDetroit
Re: A Horror A Day

This is awesome.  This is making me want to bust out some old zombie movies and take a mental health day.  Maybe next week!

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