According to polls, I am older than at least 59.49% of gamers.  Here’s six Atari 2600 games that almost got remembered.

On one of my occasional trips to GameFAQs.com to get my fix of "gonna cheat me some games", I stumbled onto this poll.  "Which classic Atari 2600 game would you most like to see re-made on a modern system?"  The re-make is a glorious tradition in which a developer chooses to kick-start off of a previous, successful idea, rather than creating a new one.  It’s too similar to be a sequel and too different to be a re-release or port.  It’s a brand new game, and yet not. 

A good example would be the recent Spy Hunter re-make, Spy Hunter: Nowhere to Run.  It took the bare basics of the 1983 drive-and-shoot arcade classic, threw in Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and produced a mediocre but enjoyable spy adventure with just enough emphasis on driving to keep its title.  If 1983 is an acceptable distance to travel back to, what about 1981?  1979?  Further?  Let’s look at the games.

Adventure
Atari, inc. 1979

Adventure is praised as being years ahead of its time.  On the Atari 2600, this translates to "if you didn’t have the manual, you didn’t know how to play".  In truth, it wasn’t so bad, though.  You play the role of a heroic square with the unique ability of being able to carry one object from one place to another.  On your quest to move keys to doors, you’ll have to find and use your trusty left-pointing arrow to slay giant, vicious ducks and escape though the strangely-symmetrical maze into the black castle with their shiny cup of flickeriness.  On occasions, a bat will come along and move items around, or swap out the hero’s item for an angry monster.  It really was a break-through title for its day, not just for its design, but also being considered the first widely known game to every contain an Easter Egg.

Re-make Potential

According to this poll, 13.83% of all gamers have never heard of Adventure, but thought it had the coolest sounding name for a re-make.  Once innovative, Adventure now has nothing to offer gamers.  Its very essence is staple and generic.  There are no memorable characters or plots, and the core premise is that of what entire genres have come to be known for.  Only the mischievous bat stands to offer the game anything of its own identity.

Atlantis
Imagic 1982

Probably better known in the stationary-shooter genre was Missile Command, but Atlantis had a successful and fun formula with a slightly lesser known name.  Unlike Missile Command, in which you aim at missiles coming towards your cities, your offense in Atlantis is truly stationary.  The Gorgon ships move side to side along the top of the screen, slowly descending until their forth pass, when they are in range to perform a bombing run.  When they do, they will either destroy one of Atlantis’s city structures, or one of your three turrets.  Your three cannons cannot be aimed, with two firing at angles and the third firing straight up.  It’s all about timing your shots and leading the enemies.

For what the Atari 2600 normally had to offer, Atlantis had a lot.  The gameplay was simple, fast and fun, the graphics were colorful and detailed (it doesn’t look like it, but trust me on that one), and it had a real story, with actual continuity.  Upon being defeated, a UFO escapes the city with its only survivor, you.  This foreshadowed the next Imagic game, Cosmic Ark, in which the player pilots that UFO around the galaxy, seeking pairs of creatures to repopulate the destroyed city of Atlantis.  I have to say, it’s the only sequel I can think of that is based on the failure of the hero in the prequel.

Re-make Potential

As the second lowest scoring game on the list, it shows that Atlantis did not collect a loyal following.  It was a good game in its day, and it has plenty of angles from which to spring off with something modern.  But, if no one remembers it, there can’t be any retro-hype.  The City of Atlantis will be forever lost.

Combat
Atari, inc. 1977

If you had an Atari, you had Combat.  If you knew a friend with an Atari, you’ve played Combat.  It was the most basic in multi-player versus gaming.  So basic, there was no single-player mode.  Based off a pair of early arcade cabinets, the game had an assortment of modes that involved tanks, bi-planes, and jets.  One of the more memorable features was the "Tank-Pong" mode, in which shots could be bounced off of walls like a rubber ball.

Re-make Potential

It seems 7.03% of gamers either can’t get enough of this game, or don’t realize that it has been re-made.  And re-made.  And re-made.  There have been direct re-makes, re-makes in the spirit of, and further more, entire genres owe their roots to these 27 game modes.  So, really, you can’t "re-make" Combat.  Combat just is.  I’ll allow you a Zen moment before we move on.

Kaboom!
Activision 1981

You can’t go wrong with bombs.  Prior to the invention of the explosive, mankind knew something was missing from his life.  Then we were given bombs, and it was good.  But soon, men with prison uniforms and masks began to use bombs for evil instead of awesome, threatening our peacefully violent way of life.  Luckily, we have buckets!  Er, well, they don’t really look like buckets to me, but I’m willing to make believe.

Kaboom! (the exclamation point makes it 12% more fun) was the only game on the list to make use of the Atari 2600 Paddle Controller.  The paddle was just a wheel and a button, but it allowed precise, side-to-side control that you just couldn’t get from a joystick.  In this one, you needed it, and a steady hand to boot.  Missing just one bomb caused you to lose one of the three buckets, and evoked a look of glee on your assailant.  That is unless you managed to catch 10,000 bombs.  Then you were rewarded with a perpetually pissed projectile pitcher.  That’s right, bitch.  You may win in the end, but I have greatly inconvenienced you.

Re-make Potential

In the early 80’s, Kaboom! was actually extremely popular, selling in excess of a million copies.  A Tiger Electronics handheld version followed in the 90’s, and a Super Nintendo version had been discussed, but was never formally released.  While never truly forgotten, the polls speak, and Kaboom! is in dead last.  Sorry, Kaboom!.

River Raid
Activision 1982

A permanent marker in shooter history, River Raid did things with the Atari 2600 that seemed impossible.  It was a vertical scrolling shooter in a day when scrolling was quite rare.  The terrain and obstacles never looped, but were not randomly generated either.  What seemed like a near endless stretch of pre-designed river was actually mathematically generated, such that no actual terrain information was stored in memory, allowing for massive levels.  The game would freeze and end at 1,000,000 points, so even the most skilled of players would never reach far enough to see the algorithm break and the levels lose playability.

The goal of River Raid was simple.  You are a plane and you fly along a river (touching the banks destroys your plane) shooting boats and helicopters that get in your path.  Every so often, you will reach a bridge that you have to destroy, which acts as a continue point, should you die.  Along the way are refueling stations to keep you in the air, so don’t accidentally shoot them, or you won’t be getting very far.

Re-make Potential

River Raid holds the third to last spot in the polls, which I can’t in good conscience agree with.  It has re-make oozing from its pores.  Shooters are a dime-a-dozen these days, and anything familiar often serves to nudge them above the rest.  Maybe I’m wrong.  No, I think 70,383 out of 74,906 people are wrong.

Yars’ Revenge
Atari, inc. 1981

Spelled Yars’ because there’s more than one of them, a Yar is a space bug… thing.  After the Qotiles destroyed one of their home worlds, the Yars went out to seek Revenge.  We know this because the game came with a comic book.  Yay, comic book!  You better hope it came with a manual too, because it really makes no bleeding sense.

In order to destroy a Qotile, a Yar must avoid the world’s slowest homing missile while chipping away at the protective shielding with bug laser vomit.  After exposing the Qotile, the Yar must run up to the shielding and consume a chunk to charge his Zorlon Cannon, which resides just off screen.  The next attack will launch the projectile slowly across the screen, and hopefully connect with the unfortunately-not-stationary Qotile, thus destroying it.  The Qotile will, in turn, try to launch itself at you as a spiraling blade on occasions.  To confuse matters more, there’s a band of pixel-puke down the middle of the screen that will protect you from the homing missiles (not the spinny blade), but keeps you from attacking in return.  So, essentially, it’s there to give you a migraine.

A point of note, the game was written by Howard Scott Warshaw (yes, back when one person could make a commercial game), the man who would go on to program E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial for the Atari, which is generally considered the single greatest commercial failure in video game history.  Say what you will about the Virtual Boy, at least no one blames it for sparking a market-wide crash.

Re-make Potential

Yar’s Revenge, if nothing else, was memorable.  Third place memorable, but it had a following.  There’s enough story and unique gameplay there to make something new and interesting.  But more than likely, it will just have to live on in the assorted Atari Flashback consoles resting on your local Wal-Mart shelves.

And so…

How far is too far when digging for a recycled inspiration?  These games are classics.  I dare say, some are even fun.  But, they’re not icons that have been strung along through the era.  Had there never been a Super Mario Bros., I think Mario would be in the same boat.  If your target demographic was between the age of toddler and unfertilized when your last game came out, it’s probably safe to call your franchise dead.  Rest in Peace, forgotten fathers of gaming.  Your names are lost, but your legacies live on.

• Axel’s Atari 2600 had a fake wood grain finish.  Now that’s just classy.
• All six of the titles above are available through a GameTap subscription.  If you have it, educate yourself!

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