When is it acceptable to throw a crate at your friend’s head?  When you’re a chipmunk, of course!

Chip ‘N Dale by Capcom is a pure classic, and on many people’s NES Top 10 games of all time.  At the time, Disney + Capcom = Gold.  While other similar platformers such as Ducktales and Darkwing Duck were undeniably good, CnD brought two-player co-op to the party, and made it great.

The controls are spot-on and incredibly smooth, even by modern standards.  The little detective duo are incredibly easy to control, both on the ground and in the air, which makes the myriad of pits and baddies rather easy to navigate.  The music is the usual Capcom magic.  Noteworthy are the 8-bit rendition of classic title theme, and one of the best final-level tunes in game history.  The graphics are colorful and diverse for the time, with every over-sized environment well detailed by the standards of the day.  All of the main characters make an appearance of some sort, with several recognizable villains such as Fat Cat, robot dogs, and masturbating bears.  It’s just an all around solid package.

This enemy blows his load and runs away.

One player takes Chip, the other takes Dale, and you make your way from one end of the stage to the other.  Crates litter the ground as ammunitions.  Lots of crates.  They can be picked up and hurled at your enemies, or your friend, temporarily stunning your assisting antagonist.  As well, one player can carry and toss the other, both for good and for evil.  Upon dying (via taking three hits, or falling down a pit), the chipmunk returns on screen attached to a balloon with limited invincibility.  At the end of most stages, they’ll square off with some sort of boss that they must take down using a big red ball.  Chip and Dale are hardcore dodgeball players.  Then they’re taken to the map screen where their little balloon-mobile can take them to a new stage.

Chip ‘N Dale Drinking

If, in this description, you thought "golly gee, that would be great to drink to," you get 5 points (redeemable after your liver inevitably fails).  That’s right, CnD is, in addition to one of the best NES games of all time, also one of the best drinking games of all time.  You’ll need:

• 1 Nintendo Entertainment System w/ two controllers
• 1 Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers NES Cartridge
• 1 NES Game Genie
• Drinks
• 2 players to inebriate
• To get your balls out of your purse

The rules are simple.  Every time you die, you take a drink.  The invincibility balloon grants you more than enough time for this.  You are, of course, encouraged to be an ass-hat and attempt to throw your friend into enemies or off of cliffs.  In order to keep from hitting Game Over within the first few sips, you’ll need your handy Game Genie with another Axel-brewed code.

Chip ‘N Dale: Rescue Rangers
AAOIIZPA – Infinite Lives

Testing has proven that, while these rules works for many games, Chip ‘N Dale feels like it was meant to be played this way. 

Why would anyone bother going to Stage E? One more drink, that’s why.

• The recognizable Rescue Rangers title theme was performed by the popular ’80s pop band, The Jets.
• Before it was decided to use Chip and Dale, the concept for the show was initially called Metro Mice, starring two mice named Colt Chedderson and Kit Colby.  The name Kit would later be recycled for the character Kit Cloudkicker in Disney’s Tale Spin.
• ~Cha-cha-cha-chip and Dale!~

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