Posted on February 18th, 2008 in Axel Night, TV by Axel Night
I just got up from watching the latest reincarnation of Knight Rider, since it aired after the American Gladiators finale (which was awesome, even if there was a bit too much talking, not enough slamming). I don’t really know what to say. Scratch that, I have lots to say.
Aired was a made for TV movie pilot. Let’s break down the story.
The Police-Officer-Shot-In-The-Face-Turned-Hoffster apparently had a wife and child prior to disappearing from the face of the earth. Developer of KITT, I guess some dude who worked for the now defunct Foundation for Law And Government (FLAG isn’t directly mentioned in the show, though he mentions "restarting the foundation" at the end), is being hunted by a security organization looking to use what he knows to start a war and make some money. He also seemed to make a second KITT (This one the Knight Industry Three Thousand), and kept it around his house. When shit hits the fan, he sends it out after his daughter and her childhood friend and ex-army ranger, a guy named Mike Traceur, to protect her and save the day.
In the end, we discover that Mike is, in actuality, this aforementioned child of the Hoff-Man.
*record scratching sound clip*
Wait, what? Alright, so let’s back this up and try to tie together the old and new stories. When Michael Arthur Long was shot in the head and pronounced dead, he left behind a family. He becomes Michael Knight, and he exists as a shadow, no one knowing who he is. Except, according to this movie, his wife, who someone knew the guy making the car working for the very industry that chose to reconstruct Michael, and who’s son would go on to be the new Knight Rider. In the new series, a lot of drama is placed around Mike’s dad leaving him at a young age. But, wasn’t he shot and pronounced dead? Damn you dad, for leaving me… by being shot… and going to heaven… yeah. At least Deanna Russo is cute.
Major inconsistencies and contrived story stretching aside, I felt nothing special from this showing. Rather than the William Daniels British wit in a Pontiac Firebird Trans Am, we get a Ford Mustang With Lots Of Letters And Numbers Tacked On, voiced by a monotoned… Val Kilmer? WTF? Anyways, in my opinion, the new car was decided by Ford’s generous advertising check, rather than actual thought, and thus lacks any real personality or cool-factor. The banter between Mike and KITT was honestly better in the Ford Focus commercials tossed in during the breaks, cheesy as it may have been, than in the actual pilot. Actually, I think if you filmed Kilmer arguing with the director, you’d get better banter.
The action sequences weren’t especially… actiony. I lamented over the complete lack of tribute to the classic once-per-episode turbo boost. When I thought back on that, thinking maybe I was just being a zealous fanboy, I realized that there really was no situation worthy of a turbo boost. The bulk of the driving took place as chase scenes on mountainous highways. They looked more like car commercials than actual action scenes. I was expecting a "professional driver on a closed course" disclaimer to jump out at me. Suspenseful parts were way too drawn out, with pretty much predictable outcomes. As they began to build up, myself and those watching with me took to yelling "commercial", since it became obvious really quick when they were trying to build up a cliff hanger for one.
And I want to take a moment to bitch that they bastardized the theme song. I wasn’t expecting them to keep the old song, but if they were going to bother keeping the first few seconds the same, then I should’ve been able to recognize some sort of familiar melody in the rest of the remix. Instead, I can’t hum to it. Just a small "damn you" for that.
All in all, I’m disappointed. I wasn’t a huge Knight Rider fan, but if it was on, I’d watch it, and I liked it. I had trouble sitting through this one, and don’t feel compelled to watch any series that may follow. It suffers from the Knight Rider Curse. Code of Vengeance, Knight Rider 2000, Knight Rider 2010 (which had a 1969 Ford Mustang, and was a double-huge flop, which should allude to something more here), Team Knight Rider. There have been several attempts to revive the popularity the original created, all of which have failed. I sense nothing different coming of this.
- Next time, it’s Knight Rider, with an equally epic failure on the NES. How much failure? Let’s just say that Acclaim made it.