In spirit of the holidays, Axel (ever in the third person, even come Christmas) has crafted a poem for the masses.  Let us never forget the true spirit of the holidays, which is obviously co-op gaming.

The Day Nintendo Stole Christmas

Twas the night before a non-denominational holiday,
December ‘89,
Not a creature was stirring.
Mom and dad had too much wine.

The stockings were stuffed,
with crap like new socks.
What we wanted was under the tree,
The shape of a Nintendo game box.

It rattled just right,
It weighed about the same,
The unlicensed bliss, could it be,
Tengen’s Tetris game?

We waited forever,
All of five minute’s time,
Before scurrying up stairs,
And on Dad’s face we did climb.

We dragged them down stairs,
Lead by the tree’s glowing light,
We wouldn’t learn for a few more years,
6:00 AM is still night.

Dad put the coffee on,
Hungover and tired.
Undead-like, mom brought stockings,
Not what we desired.

The socks we discarded,
Five Reese’s Cups filled my trap.
One more might’ve fit,
But there’s presents to unwrap.

We tore into what mattered,
Sweaters be damned.
Yes, it IS Tetris,
But somehow, we feel scammed.

The box is different,
The cartridge is grey.
But no matter,
With colored blocks we now play.

My brother exclaimed first,
"What the fuck is this?"
No two-player option,
What a crock of piss.

After battles in court,
By Nintendo, Tengen got sued.
And just in time for Christmas,
Released a version so crude.

Nintendo stole Christmas,
Robbed us of cheer,
We’d have to play alone,
Our Tetris that year.

Crappy games would follow,
Each year ruined our fun.
Dragon’s Lair in Ninety,
Home Alone in ninety-one.

But those were just bad games,
They happen each holiday.
None would compare to the year,
Ninendo took Christmas away.

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