Yo. It be Monday, October 15, 2007. Don’t ask me where my mind is, because I lost it sometime last night. I suspect it’s on my pillow, but that line of empty thinking has failed me before. One day I found it in the closet under some old TMNT comics- the color reprints of the original stuff, if you must know.

Anyway, like The Party, let’s get right down to it… or if you want a more Power Rangeresque flair to things… back to action!

Monday Mash-up after the jump.

Punch someone in the face and start a brawl if you know what I’m going to talk about first!

Smash Bros. Brawl Delayed

 

Leave it to me to be excited about something only for it to be delayed, because one day after I go on and on about Sonic being in Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Wii, Nintendo hauls off and delays it from December to February. Now, as a modern gamer in his late twenties trying to get through this thing we call Life, I have no real problem with delays mainly because I don’t have all the time in the world to devote to playing through a game… unless it involves kneecapping possessed people and then kicking them into oblivion. Forced quests (Zelda, I’m looking at you) make me turn off a game quicker than a hiccup, so action titles are more my speed even as my reflexes get slow, so I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t looking forward to playing Brawl this Christmas. And yeah, I’m a little miffed that it won’t be under the tree, but you know what? I don’t have a problem with that. Developers, take note! If you need to fix something, then please for the love of Mama Cass’ ham sandwich, take the time to fix it! Gamers will love you in the long run if you actually say that you’re going to fix stuff; now, if you release a broken game, then that’s your ass. Nobody can help you, and please, don’t tell people how you should review a game due to its’ controls. Developers of Lair, I’m looking at you.

I Don’t Know What Kind of Casting This Is, But It Ain’t The Justice League

You can be shocked if you want to, but I’m not too high up on a live-action Justice League. Number one, two many people are going to be too confused with two folks playing Batman running around; Christian Bale won’t be the Bat in this one, and you just know that someone’s gonna go, “But remember in the Dark Knight when he did this? How come he doesn’t do that in the Justice League?! I just don’t GET it!” causing mass hysteria in peoples’ brains and on the internet. Number two, half of the main characters involved in the Justice League aren’t all that popular- mention Aquaman to someone in a serious manner and they will laugh in your face with spittle just to cement the fact that they think you’re on crack. DC Comics can’t even get a good hold on the Martian Manhunter’s characterization… and they own the frickin’ character! Does this bode well for a live action movie? Methinks no, but this article from the Hollywood Reporter isn’t helping matters.

 

I know what you’re saying. “THIS AIN’T BE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!” Well, let me just hammer something home- from those admittedly scant details, they’re skewing this deal pretty young. If I’m thinking Superman or Batman, I’m not thinking folks from The O.C. or Friday Night Lights. If we have to have a Justice League movie right now (so sayeth Warner Bros.), can I at least see a few heroes that don’t look like they got out of college a couple of years after I did? Don’t answer that.

Eli Roth Strikes Back With Trailer Trash

 

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes- I don’t even need Miracle Whip on it, I will still take that sandwich, yes. For the 86 people that saw Grindhouse in the theater (you missed out), the trailers were awesome. One of the standouts was Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving, a fake trailer depicting a demented Thanksgiving themed horror romp that involved, among other things, turkey humping and a knife to the vajayjay. It was one of the standouts of the whole Grindhouse experience, so like all good things, it’s movie time! Check out Creature Corner for the full news. Personally, I’m still waiting on a “Machete” film.

Tyler Perry Can Now Buy Your Life

It’s been disputed by various people around the world, but I’m black, and the fact that I hate Tyler Perry films doesn’t help my racial standing in the eyes of the world either. Add the fact that he looks creepier without the Madea makeup in the commercials for Tyler Perry’s Why Can’t I Get Married, and I know that there’s something just not right.

“Have you seen a Tyler Perry film or a play,” someone is probably axin’.

“No.”

“Then how do you know it’s not good?!”

 

“Because this is the internet! I don’t have to explain myself! And I won’t! This article would be too long if I did! Anyway, let me finish, and maybe you’ll understand what I started to say but didn’t. While I might not voluntarily see a Tyler Perry film, the man can make some money at the box office. His latest film was number one at the box office, raking in 21.5 million dollars. Pretty soon, he’s gonna start swimming in money. And possibly sooner after that, he’ll buy someone to just stand there while he screams at them with the Madea outfit on so he can test out new material. I hope it’s not one of you.

Been A Long Time Since We’ve Rock And Rolled Via iTunes

Led Zeppelin is legally coming to the digital age just in time for their reunion next month. In November, their whole catalog will be available, and folks will probably buy IV and Physical Graffiti all over again. This is a big step for the last of the musical holdouts (The Beatles being another one), and maybe one day they’ll all be one big happy digital family… I mean, with Sony trying to say that folks burning their own CDs are stealing them, anything can happen, right?

No More Singing For Buffy Fans

Don’t worry, I’m sad too. Fox pissed off even more people this past week by canceling all “Once More With Feeling” (from season six of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) screenings for the foreseeable future, because we all know that promoting a long-ended show and strengthening the fanbase of said show doesn’t help Fox at all. I mean, imagine when these fans bring in people that haven’t seen the show, get them hooked, and then they buy the show on DVD! Man, that’s gonna suck for Fox! Who the hell would want that?!

 

DVDs!

Slow week:

Deadliest Catch: Season 2 – Want to see the world’s most dangerous job? Yes, it’s crab fishing, and yes, you need to check this out.

Planet Terror: Extended and Unrated: Because you didn’t see it in the theater. See it now. It’s got zombies! And guns! And a stripper with an assault rifle for a leg! Whoooo!

Transformers: Big. Robots. Fighting. It’s not the 80’s anymore. Give it a chance!

Youtube Goodness

Some things actually made me laugh this past weekend, so I’m going to share two of them with you.

Behold, from "30 Rock", "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah":

But, if that isn’t your bag, then maybe you’d like to see "People Getting Punched Just Before Eating":

 

I’d throw in the saga of the Night Man in, but you can’t handle that. Yet.

And I’m Out

Thanks for reading, and watch out for that tree. See you on Wednesday.

What are people saying about "Monday Mash-Up"?

Brick Prior Re: Monday Mash-Up Censored line from #3: "She dyed her what?" Guess where I cut it from!

Axel Night Re: Monday Mash-Up Ah, sweet sweet Monday Mash-Up.  Quickly becoming my primary source of weekly news.  Is that so wrong?

Brick Prior Re: Monday Mash-Up #4 is up.

Brick Prior Re: Monday Mash-Up The Mash-Up is gonna be late this week- dealing with family until Wednesday or so.  Except some weird funky hybrid column when I'm back.

Brick Prior Re: Monday Mash-Up My apologies for the formatting.  The editor was being evil.  I'll be messing with it all day.

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